10 DUMBEST Things Billionaires Own

There’s only so many zeros in your bank account before you start buying incredibly dumb stuff that costs insane amounts of money. How does a two hundred and thirteen thousand dollar shirt sound? Yeah, rich people buy a lot of dumb stuff. So today I’m going to remind myself I’m incredibly poor and I’m a huge loser by counting down the 10 most expensive dumb things bought by rich people.

Let’s jump in to number 10. Cell phones have become a necessity in today’s world, be it through surfing the web or using them to call friends and family. Basically, everyone and their dog has one. Just in billionaire fashion, of course, you got to take that over the top, too and what better way to do that than to create a 15 million dollar iPhone?

This random businessman from Hong Kong’s iPhone 5 is absolutely covered in gold and diamonds. Not just any diamonds, but an extremely rare twenty six karat black diamond. As well, I’m not joking, he literally used that as his home button. Going even further than that, he uses rare white diamonds to line the outer casing in the Apple logo.

Is it insanely good looking? Yeah. Is it overly expensive considering how often iPhones get new releases? Also, yes. I’m still low-key kind of jealous that this dude has all the spare cash lying around to spend $15 million on a pimped out case for his iPhone 5, but hey, on the bright side, I bet that screen still cracks if you drop it.

Number 9. You could have all the fame and fortune in the world, but if you can’t share it with someone like a dog, is it really worth it? Okay, yeah, I’ll be specific, but let’s be real, dogs are man’s best friend for a reason. And what better way to spoil them than a $3.2 million collar ? Yeah, with 1600 hand placed diamonds, this collar is sure to make your dog an absolute icon.

Where it isn’t covered in diamonds, it’s blinged out with 18 karat white gold, and the strap is made from literal crocodile leather. The senior editor of Forbes even called it the Bugatti of dog collars. And it’s easy to see why. “This is a Eva, she’s wearing a first pick, a 3.2 million dollar diamond dog collar”. Known by its maker as a Amour Amour, this collar is just over the top.

And it’s also the most expensive dog collar on the market. I love my dog, but even if I had that much spare cash lying around, I don’t think I would get him this or would I think they want it. The irony is, I feel like the dog would probably choose a piece of pepperoni over this collar.

Number Eight. Super cars are a pretty average thing for billionaires to own. I mean, who wouldn’t want to buy a new Lambo or Ferrari if you had infinite money? This century is taking that whole idea and pretty much cranking it to an entirely different level. Owned by the Saudi prince, Amir, this particular vehicle is a Mercedes SL 600 worth an estimated 4.8 million dollars.

Since the prince was reported by Forbes as one of the top 10 richest people in the world, are we really surprised? $4.8 billion is probably what he uses as toilet paper when you’re that rich. This sick Mercedes is encrusted with three hundred thousand diamonds and is easily the most expensive car of its make in the world.

It’s well, definitely one of the dumber spots on this list but when you keep watching, you’ll find out that this rabbit hole goes even deeper.

Number seven. We’ve seen a few items on this list be coated in gold or diamonds already. So let’s get a little crazy and talk about the solid gold bathroom. Located in Manhattan’s Soho neighborhood, this is a master bath in a $12 million dollar loft. The price tag on the entire apartment is enormous, but quite a large amount of that money is being made up by just the bathroom and more specifically, the golden bath tub.

“Bathing tub, all gold mosaic tile and then a mirrored ceiling”. I can’t even imagine spending this much cash on a bathroom. I mean, does it really make your showers or more importantly, poops that much better? I mean, well, maybe the more I think about it. But seriously, how extra do you have to be to bathe in a golden tub? Like, really, how do you even get to that point?

Well, I guess we could always ask Mike Tyson as he also picked up a solid gold tub, estimated around 2.2 million dollars.

Number six. I love my dog, I do a lot for my dog. But spending millions of dollars, recreating a mansion just for my dog is definitely not something that would come to my mind. Here we have a purchase made by Paris Hilton similar to that diamond dog collar from earlier. She is yet another rich person treating her puppies, right.

In fact, Paris had an entire separate mini mansion replica of her own mansion made just for all of her dogs to chill in. It’s pretty much a pimped out dog house. It’s even got furniture and dressers with little dog clothes in it. These dogs have it good. They even have a working air conditioner and heating inside the place. What more could a dog even want?

Number five. We’ve been over a good number of questionable golden purchases so far, but this one is even more odd than the bathtub and I know it, saying that out loud sounds crazy. In what world would you ever need a solid gold toilet and matching gold toilet paper? Jokes aside, I have zero idea what would possess anyone to buy a gold toilet.

Like, how are you even using that to flex on people? It’s like the icing on the cake. You’ve already shown everyone your massive house and when they need to go to the bathroom, boom, golden toilet. Considering Kanye West actually has these in every bathroom in his and Kim’s mansion, he must have some incredible poops.

Okay, time to stop talking about poops Tommy, come on. I can maybe see the toilet being fine after thinking about it a little. But why spend over a million dollars on rolls of gold toilet paper? Like doesn’t that hurt your butt?

Number four. Everybody’s written their name in the sand at least once in their lives? It’s funny and cool. Living the life of a billionaire, of course, you’ve got to take that idea to the extreme. This purchase was made by Hamad, a member of the ruling families of Abu Dhabi. Honestly, unlike other entries on this list, he’s left his mark on the world, with this one, literally.

Located on the island of Al Futaisi, Hamad decided to have his name carved directly into the island. This massive carving is an insane two miles long and eleven hundred yards tall. It’s a lasting impression for sure. One of the things that helps it lasts is that rather than just being washed away with the tides, it was actually intentionally made with waterways to absorb the oncoming waves.

Out of all the things on this list, I kind of respect this one. Not that I would spend hundreds of thousands of dollars, just have my name on a beach, but it’s definitely a cool and unique way to try to make yourself be seen by the world and be remembered for years to come. I mean, imagine the Google Maps flex.

Number three. When you find the right barber or hairdresser that really gives you that haircut you’re looking for, it’s like finding a diamond in a haystack. This is one lesson from me to you, treat them well. The sultan of Brunei, though, might be a little too generous with his. Considering that his barber gets a pretty great payday every month with him being paid roughly twenty four thousand dollars per trip to Brunei, haircuts cannot be that expensive.

Not only that, but he’s got his housing, flight and everything else completely covered by the Sultan as well. After having his hair cut by the same barber for 16 years, I can’t blame the guy for wanting to have him out each month for a fresh new trim. Being paid that much money every month must be nice, but imagine the stress each time.

Like you go to cut this man’s hair and you accidently mess up a tiny patch or go a little too short. And again, with a pay day like that to look forward to, it’s no surprise he finds himself coming back each time. On the real though, if this guy ends up calling it quits with the barbering gig, I can imagine the line of hairdressers waiting to be chosen.

Number two. Art is a really odd thing. Some things sell for hundreds of dollars that are beautiful. Then some works are considered abstract, like that banana taped to a wall which sold for one hundred and twenty thousand dollars. Unfortunately, that’s not our number two entry, but it’s comparable to what this spot actually goes to.

This piece was made by artist Damien Hirst and is literally a stuffed tiger shark encased in formaldehyde, which is some kind of liquid. The shark itself was caught and sold to Hirst for about 8 thousand U.S. dollars, but the labor required also cost him an additional sixty five thousand dollars. Here’s the kicker, compared to how much his piece of art sold for, the price he paid was chump change.

Sold to Professor Stephen Cohen for an estimated 8 million dollars, this ended up being one expensive sea creature. If I had something like this in my house, I’d probably go out to the kitchen late at night, only to see it and lowkey freak out. Even still, I’ve definitely got to say, it must be a pretty good talking piece if you ever have a company like, “oh yeah, this is my shark”.

And our honorable mention goes to Lady Gaga. Lady Gaga has always been a mysterious figure ever since her debut back in 2005, but even knowing that, I’m still scratching my head when you tell me she bought this. Probably inspired by the show Ghost Hunters, Gaga made a pretty unique purchase back in 2010 when she picked up a literal ghost detector.

Better known as an EMF or electrical field meter. Devices like these are intended to let us detect any spirits in the room through the electrical currents in the air. I have no idea why a massive star like her would even want to purchase something like this, let alone with a price tag of fifty thousand dollars. She says the purchase was made after she felt like she might have a stalker, she just couldn’t shake.

She even named the stalker, Ryan, and kept saying it was a spirit that she insisted was stalking her as she was touring the world at the start of the 2010s. Paranoia can make you do some crazy things, paying fifty thousand dollars for a ghost detector is definitely taking things a bit too far. Also, I know this is technically cheating because she isn’t a billionaire, but once I saw it, I knew it had to be at the honorable mention.

Honorable mention number two. I totally understand loving gold, but this guy takes it to a whole other level with his 22 karat gold button up shirt. I love the bling, but man, I imagine how bad it must feel to ever get dirt on it. Not to mention the shirt weighs nearly nine pounds, which is nearly the weight of 30 regular t-shirts.

I enjoy flashy clothes as much as the next guy, but the two hundred and thirteen thousand dollar price tag on this shirt is a little out of my budget for a night out on the town.

Number one. For our number one spot today, we’ve got the world’s most expensive pen you’ll never use. Made by jeweler Montblanc, the fountain pen is encrusted with an insane four thousand eight hundred and ten diamonds. It’s a limited edition item only produced at a rate of eight per year and sold at one hundred and sixty thousand dollars per pen.

“Here in the world, it is set with four thousand eight hundred and ten diamonds and adorned with a Montblanc diamond on the snowcap”. To put that in perspective, you could buy roughly one point nine million Bic ballpoint pens for the price of this. I just hope it writes well for the price. Like it looks great, but realistically, only billionaires with stupid amounts of extra cash lying around would even bother buying something like this.

Considering that they only produce eight of these a year, I assume they have to sell at least that many, which is still pretty insane, especially considering most people don’t even handwrite things nowadays. In hindsight though, it would be kind of cool to sign a check for loads of cash with one of these, now that I think about it.


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Written by Wolfgang Mayer

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